Sugarplum Visions: Memories of Childhood Christmas Gifts

 

The image above, was the quintessential, be-all end-all for many of us as kids growing up. The sight of a brightly decorated Christmas tree, with wrapped presents underneath it. The very sight of that tree, heralded excitement, knowing that presents would soon be underneath it. And seeing those colorful wrapped gifts, heralded "Sugarplum Visions" of what could possibly be inside. That was half of the fun, in some ways, not knowing what they were, but looking at them endlessly, or sometimes even managing to sneak a feel, or a shake, trying to figure out what they MIGHT be.

For me personally, as I've recounted in the past, Christmastime was pure magic for me. I had a fairly lonely childhood, being raised by an overprotective grandmother as an only child, home-schooled, with few friends. But no matter what, when the Holidays rolled around, I was filled with wonder. That last three month block of the year was my absolute favorite. October brought the spooky wonderment of Halloween. November brought the tasty goodness of Thanksgiving, and every few years even on the same day, my birthday. And of course, December brought the mystical joys of Christmas, and to a lesser extent New Years Eve. But as much as I loved all those other times, as much as I got exited for my birthday and the presents that would bring, I honestly got even more excited for Christmas, just because of the entire ambiance of it all.

The often unappreciated step-brother of wrapped presents.

Before I dive in to what this piece is REALLY about (the presents), I felt I should take a moment to give some respect and due appreciation to the phenomenon known as "Christmas Stockings". I'd imagine not ALL families do this, but if you were anything like me, there were stockings we'd drag out every year, that looked a bit like the picture above, except with hand-made names on each, including one that said "Jesse", for my little self. While the wrapped gifts were the main event, the stocking was the appetizer. And as is traditional, mine would typically be filled with various candies like Hershey's Kisses, or those little assorted Hershey bars, or candy canes, and other things, such as sometimes smaller toys, or baseball cards, things like that. I don't know how you did your Christmas, but in my childhood experience, we always did the stockings first, to whet the appetite (and build that anticipation), I suppose. 

Good ol' Fisher Price.

Now of course, Christmas itself is HARDLY all about the presents. Even for me, as a child growing up, it was very much about the entire package: the candy, the tree, the lights, the music, the TV specials, the general feelings that come with the season, and the high-minded ideals like "Peace on Earth" and the spirit of giving. But this particular piece, is focusing on what most kids cared about most: the gifts. The earliest specific gift that I can very vaguely remember getting, as I assume it was a Christmas gift, was a Fisher Price playset that was essentially what you see above: a zoo. Some of my earliest memories, are of living in San Diego as a toddler, ages 2 and 3, and taking trips to Sea World and the San Diego Zoo. This set was not an OFFICIAL San Diego Zoo product, but in my child mind, I always associated it as being such.

Bring on the dinos!

As I've related in past articles, as a child, before I became more of an all-around MONSTER nut in the early 90s, growing up in the 80s, I was an absolute dinosaur nut. I don't remember exactly what age this all started, but it was pretty early on. Certainly full-bore by the time I was in Kindergarten. For a poor kid, I still had an extensive amount of dinosaur stuff: various books, coloring books, t-shirts, a dinosaur blanket of some sort, and of course, cheap plastic toys! I cannot honestly remember specific dino toys that I got on Christmas, but I know as big of a nut as I was during that age range, I MUST have gotten several. 

Whether I got it as an Xmas toy or not, the one that sticks out most in my mind, was a generic, kinda fat looking little gray T-Rex toy, with stubby ass little arms, which I named "Dino". This was my TOP favorite toy for some reason as a little kid, and I carried it around with me everywhere. It was in a very real way, the precursor to what would later in life become my "thinking pencils", as I would hold onto it as I ran or paced around, thinking and daydreaming. At some point, because I used to play with him extensively, poor ol "Dino" got all sorts of wear and tear, including losing one of his stubby arms. But I still loved him, and among many other childhood things, I honestly wish I still had him to this day, just to have, and keep on display somewhere. Until I later got obsessed with Godzilla and video games and the X-Men, things like that, "Dino" was my #1 toy, and as sad as it may sound, in some ways my "best friend". 

                                                 Duplos, too big for kids to choke on.

That big ol' Bucket o Legos!

Another toy I'm certain I got on some Xmas or other, were of course Lego blocks. But BEFORE I got Lego blocks, around the age of I'm assuming 4 years old, I got Duplo blocks first. Duplos are basically giant Legos, that kids can't choke themselves on like idiots. Duplos were something I had a lot of fun with as a toddler, I'm sure. But the REAL fun started within the next few years, as I got old enough to have actual Lego blocks instead. I acquired several specific Lego sets over the years, the ones that come with specific pieces that you build a specific thing out of, like a race car, or a spaceship, some of which I'm certain I got as Christmas gifts.. And don't get me wrong, some of those were awesome.

BUT, hands down, the most fun I ever had with Legos, were just using random pieces, and my imagination, to try and build just whatever came to mind, within my limited means. One year, let's say when I was probably around 6 or 7, I got a big old bucket of Legos, very similar to what you see above. Except that somehow I also had a much bigger, thinner "ground" piece, and a lot of tree and flower pieces. I used to try and build houses, or a castle, or whatever. There weren't enough pieces in that one bucket, or even adding stuff from those specific sets, to REALLY go wild. But it was more than enough to take up hours of my time. 

Good ol' 80s robots.

Oh look...it's Mouse Trap.

Holiday Oddities.

Of course I got various assorted random things over my childhood Christmases as well. I got a couple of different battery-operated Robot Toys, which were neat because they moved around and lit up, or even made noises. I got card or board games, I'm sure, such as Uno, or Mouse Trap. You remember Mouse Trap, right? It's that game with all the crazy pieces, that it turns out is FAR more fun to put together, than it is to actually play the game and spring the "trap". And then there were SUPER random things, such as the late 80s oddity known as "Rodney Reindeer". I'm not even sure of the history or story behind Rodney, but I know it was what you see above, and I had most of those pictured. Cool little guys, that again, I wish I still had. But also super random. Must've been a fad like one year, and then gone. 

All aboard!

Now as a little kid, again probably around 4 or 5 years old, I know that I got what was probably a fairly cheap, battery operated train set. Have no idea if it was name brand or not, as we were fairly poor. But I probably still loved it, because it moved. Later in life, I'm guessing about Christmas 1988 or 89, I got an actual, honest to goodness Lionel brand train set, and THAT thing was pretty cool. It was nothing likely as fancy, and certainly not as expensive, as what is shown above. It was simple, pretty basic, a couple of different layouts you could set up the track as, several cars, and an on switch. But it was a neat present. Even though I wasn't SUPER into trains, I do remember thumbing through the Lionel catalogue, and daydreaming about having fancier, far more elaborate train set ups. 

With FULL Battle Accessories!

Deinonychus was cool, before anyone knew what the hell a Veloceraptor was.

Just your average hang-gliding setup.

The villainous Rasp, aboard his fearsome Pteranodon.

Circling back around to dinosaurs for a moment, pictured above are relics of a late 80s phenomenon known as "Dino Riders". As part of the VERY 80s phenomenon of having cartoons with toy lines, Marvel actually produced this particular venture. There was a one-season cartoon series, that was actually quite serious for an 80s kids show at the time. I myself had a coloring book telling the Dino Riders story. And of course, the toys. Now precisely WHAT toys I had, is a little fuzzy. I know I didn't have too many, and certainly not the big, cool ass ones like Rulon leader Krulos, riding his giant battle T-Rex. But I DO know for a fact that I 100% had Rasp, the snake dude pictured above, complete with his decked-out Pteranadon, who had a button in its back, which would make the wings flap.

Where it gets fuzzier, are the other pictures figures. Because on the one hand, I definitely remember having the Deinonychus toy, as outside of T-Rex he was my fav. dino as a kid. But I don't have strong memories of having that Rider. Meanwhile I also KNOW that I had Llahd, the blonde kid Rider, and the hang-glider setup seems familiar, but I have less strong memories of having that Pteradactyl. But, thing is, obviously, if I remember Llahd, and I remember that Deino, I MUST have had the rest of that stuff, right? Either way, Dino Riders was a very cool, but short lived phenomenon. What I REALLY wish, however, is that the OTHER action-based late 80s dinosaur show I loved FAR more, Dinosaucers, had had a toy line. I would have ate it up.  

Look at those sweet ass cars.

Not quite what I had.

M-m-m-MICRO Machines!

Similar to trains, I was never (and am still not) HUGE into cars. But of course some of the earliest toys  I remember having, were little toy cars. And chief among those, were Hot Wheels. In fact I'm sure that I got some of the Hot Wheels I had, from that very McDonald's promotion pictured. I know for a fact I got that weird drag racer type car from there. But one of the VERY few things I still have from my childhood, somehow, are two plastic cases mostly full of old Hot Wheels cars. So I clearly had enough of them over the years, to fill two cases. I also have vivid memories of having some kind of "Gas Station" playset that I used my Hot Wheels (and other toys like Monster in My Pocket) with. It wasn't THAT playset, I don't think, but it was very similar, with two stories, a garage, a store, etc.

Coming out in the late 80s, while I remember them being more of a 90s thing, I also got at least a handful of Micro Machines. You remember those old commercials, with fast-talking John Maschitta Jr? They made Micro Machines sound SO cool, and I got myself a pack or two in my day. Nothing specific, no specific cars, really stand out in my memory, and I sadly no longer have them. But they were a very neat thing back in their day. Look up one of those commercials sometime, they're hilarious.

 

 

 

This cute little guy.

THESE dudes.

 

Now we're getting down to the "REAL shit", some of my top most loved and remembered Xmas gifts. Anyone who is even vaguely familiar with this blog, and the Retro Revelations brand in general, knows that I love Godzilla. Hell, he's my unofficial mascot! You would think, as huge of a G-fan as I was in my late childhood/pre-teen years, that I would have had a lot more Godzilla type toys. But nope. Largely due to the fact that, frankly, by the time I was into Godzilla, he just wasn't a popular entity in the states at that time. I mean I don't think there were ever a LOT of Godzilla toys, but there were like NONE when I was a kid, really.

The lone exceptions, were what you see above. The first, is a little rubber Godzilla clip, essentially. In the late 80s/early 90s, these kinds of clip dolls/toys were pretty popular. All kinds of stuff, from Mickey Mouse to Garfield to Bart Simpson, etc., with clip arms that you could use to have them hang from things like curtains, or whatever. Well somewhere, I don't remember where, we found this very generic "Godzilla" one, and naturally I HAD to have it, as it was the only Godzilla type toy I had ever seen, anywhere. I DO still actually have Clip Godzilla, as one of the few things I somehow managed to hold onto.

As for the other dudes, growing up, my Aunt Maggie, who lives on the East Coast (I lived on the West Coast), would send us these big, HEAVILY taped packages every year for Christmas, with all kinds of stuff inside. I always looked forward to her packages, because there was always something neat stowed away in there for me. Well one year, coming as a total surprise, I got these two 1-foot or so figures, of which I had no idea they even existed. They must have been something she found in a Goodwill or something somewhere, and knowing I loved Godzilla, she got them for me. Doing research as an adult, it seems they were made by a Taiwanese or somesuch company called Dor Mei, which made knock-off generic "Godzilla" type toys, among other things. Neither one of them was really "Godzilla", or any of his other monsters for that matter. But I still thought they were hella cool, and again, something I REALLY wish I still had.

 

Hard but fun.

Totally Radical!

Fun...if you have friends.

Now we get down to what you might call the "Main Event" of this piece. Obviously, I had a great love and appreciation for most of the presents, certainly the FUN ones, that I got during my childhood. The cars, the dinosaurs, the Legos, the random occasional robot, you name it. But when I got my Nintendo Entertainment System in late 1990, all bets were off. As much as I was (or would become) obsessed with things like Godzilla or other monster movies, or Fantasy/Tolkien type stuff, or Goosebumps books, or superhero cartoons like the X-Men or Spider-Man, once I got my very own NES, everything paled in comparison. Not unlike other kids growing up I'm sure, video games were from then on, always, ALWAYS my top most desired gifts.

So that same aunt, a year or so later, surprised me with what I'm sure was another thrift store pick-up. This time in the form of two random NES games, both of which happened to be published by the great Data East, both of which were (very decent) ports of arcade games I had, at that age, never heard of. I feel like this was a Christmas where I didn't get any other video games, so the fact that Aunt Maggie hooked me up with not one, but two, was pretty bad ass. And, as it turned out, NEITHER of them sucked! In fact, both of them are rather fun games, and while a bit hard, I eventually put in the time and was able to beat them both. As for Spy vs. Spy, I DO believe this was another Xmas gift from that same aunt, just on a different year. Either way, it was still cool to get, though in all fairness, Spy vs. Spy is not as fun or good in general as Kid Niki or Breakthru were. And it was really meant to be a 2-player game. Playing without a friend, against that bastard computer, lost its charm after a bit. 

What's up, Doc?

Speaking of Doc.

THE best NES controllers.

THE best, IMO, game ever crafted.

I have shared this particular Christmas story many times, in various mediums, including the RR Youtube channel. But it was so great, so epic, that it deserves repeating. For Christmas 1990, just a few short months after I had first gotten my NES, I received a package gift that will forever stand in my memory as the coolest/most exciting Christmas present I ever received. There it was, this mysterious, unwrapped, plain brown box. I honestly had zero idea what was inside. But when I opened it, you could easily have played that stereotypical "HALLELUJAH" song, like right out of a movie. Within this plane ass box, sat not one, but THREE NES games, and two controllers to boot. 

In point of fact, as I was opening the box, I couldn't tell how many games were in there. All I know is I must have seen either Dr. Mario or Bugs Bunny first, both games we had already rented. And I thought that was pretty cool. I was happy. And then I see another game, whichever of those two wasn't first. And I got happier. But then my eyes REALLY lit up, as I remember it, Mario 3 was hidden further down, probably on purpose. When I saw THAT bad boy, my eyes lit the fuck up, let me tell you! I had very briefly experienced SMB3 at an aunt's house earlier in the year, and embarrassingly, I actually barely played it, because the map felt awkward to me. I spent more time with my first TRUE gaming love, Super Mario Bros. 1, which I had been playing the ever-living shit out of in the months before Christmas. But having a real chance to play SMB3 again, I was absolutely beside myself. Let me make it clear, that Super Mario Bros. 1 IS the game that made me fall in love with gaming, it's the game that turned what had always been a fascination with video games, into a full blown childhood obsession. And to this day I love SMB1, I always will, it's a fantastic, timeless classic. BUT, when I really got to dig my mits into SMB3? It was game over, it was instantly my favorite game, that I played a ridiculous amount over the next several years, and to this day it remains my favorite game of all time.

As for the controllers, while an afterthought, even then, they bear mentioning. They were Sansui Joycard controllers. Yes, a very odd, very Japanese name for them. And I don't know, my grandmother must have seen them in the Finger Hut catalogue or something, otherwise where would she find something like that. I'm not even sure why she got two. But they were awesome, and instantly became my favorite controller. They were modeled very much after the Japanese Famicom controllers, with more comfortable, rounded edges. They also included a headphone jack, so you could listen to your games without annoying people. And most importantly, they had rapid-fire switches, to enhance that gaming experience!

Now you[re playing with power. PORTABLE power.

Still the best Zelda game, to me.

Last but hardly not least, were the last video game related, and probably anything related, Christmas gifts I remember getting while my grandmother was still alive. So essentially the last Xmas gifts from my childhood, before I hit my teens and life changed a lot. As stated, that "Mystery Box" with Mario 3 and Co. in it, was THE coolest, most exciting gift I ever got as a kid. But perhaps a close second, was Xmas 1993, when I received my very own Game Boy. 

For a little bit of background, before my 12th birthday that year, one fine fall afternoon, I had been playing, you guessed it, Super Mario Bros. 3. I was playing it when my grandmother went to go take a nap. And unfortunately for yours truly, I was also STILL playing it when she got back up, a good 2-3 hours later. Why had I been playing so long, you ask? Well, it was simple really, I beat the game, and because I had never bothered/been able to beforehand, I decided I wanted to beat it through a SECOND time, with all of those P-Wings in tow. I was curious to see if you got ANY sort of different ending if you beat it twice. The answer was big, fat, disappointing no. But then, in one of my less smart childhood decisions, I decided, being bored, that I would for no actual good reason whatsoever, KEEP playing it for awhile, a third loop through. If I had been smarter, I would have turned that shit off after my "Second Loop Experiment" was done. If I had, my grandmother would have still been laying down, and I would have been just fine. But instead, she got up, asked if I'd been playing the entire time she was asleep, to which I stupidly said yes. And she flew off the handle, as she so often (and irrationally) did, and in true Grandma fashion, she grounded me from video playing Nintendo for TWO whole months.

To kid me, that was a prison sentence. It was devastating. Never mind that the VERY same day she pronounced sentence, we went to Wal-Mart and she bought me Mario Teaches Typing for PC. She DIDN'T want me talking about goddamn Mario for two months, mind you. But she DID like the idea of an educational game. Unrelated, at some point I eventually also got Mario is Missing on PC. However, on that SAME awful trip to Wal-Mart, I learned by seeing it through the clear blue plastic bag, that she was returning one of my birthday gifts: a copy of Kirby's Adventure, which I had rented once and adored. I was DOUBLE devastated to learn that. I could hardly have been more miserable at the time. She DID allow me to play NES with my friends on my birthday for a couple of hours, and as it turned out, Harold's family got me a copy of Super Mario Bros. 2. She ALSO still got me a cool "Nintendo Chair", even though she was sicking of hearing about Nintendo. 

A really fantastic expansion of a classic.

SUCH a great, truly unappreciated entry in the franchise.

Anyway, with all that in mind, my grounding was over by Christmas, for sure. And that's a good thing, because she ALSO still wound up getting me a Game Boy, and at least a few of initial games. Even though she was sick of hearing about Nintendo. So Xmas 93, I got a Game Boy, packed in with Tetris, which much like Dr. Mario she herself played WAY too much. And I also got, at least, Kirby's Pinball Land, and Zelda: Link's Awakening, which is still my favorite Zelda game to this day. 

Where it gets a bit fuzzy, is precisely WHEN I got the other GB games I owned, because all told, I only had six of them. The others were Wario Land, and as pictures, a bad ass 100 level Donkey Kong remake, and Mega Man V, which is my 2nd favorite MM game behind Mega Man 2 on NES. But here's the thing. All three of those games came out at various points in 1994. And Mega Man specifically, according to the internet, didn't come out until September of 94. Which really throws a monkey wrench in my memories. Because for years, I've remembered it that the last video game gift that my grandmother got me while she was still alive, was The Jungle Book on NES, for my 13th birthday in 1994. Which by the way, was a bit of a letdown. But since she DID get me Mega Man, and I DIDN'T get it for my birthday, that leads me to believe that I HAD to have gotten it for Xmas 1994. There's no other logical explanation, because I know for sure I didn't get any new games from her in 1995.

So, memory fuckery aside, yes, my last two Christmases then, were filled with Game Boy goodness, as I imagine I probably got both Mega Man and Warioland for Xmas. I didn't have many Game Boy games, but I'm proud to say none of those I did own, sucked. They were all QUITE good in fact, and I enjoyed them all, and played them all, quite a bit. I will point out, however, that I didn't actually play my GB "on the go" very much, mainly because the screen was so damn DARK without a direct light source. To that end, both for me and for her Tetris addiction, my grandmother eventually got me a "Light Boy" attachment, which was both a light for the screen, as well as a big bulky magnifier for the screen. I would sit in my bean bag chair in the corner of my room, with the GB plugged in, and play that thing with the "Light Boy", sometimes for hours. Which to me was a major win, because I had originally wanted to put the NES in my room, and wasn't allowed to. So getting to play games in my room finally, was great! Funny side note about the "Light Boy" though. I also got a Game Genie for GB, and both peripherals attached to the top of the system, in the game slot. So you could ONLY use either the Game Genie, or the LB. You could either use cool cheats, or actually SEE the screen, your choice. 

                                                         *********************

 

 

 

So that's it for my Christmas Gift memories. There were likely other cool things I got as a kid, but frankly I can't really remember them, or they weren't that important to bring up. I hit on all the big and landmark ones, for sure. 2020 has been a real garage year for pretty much the entire planet. I hope that all of you have a very Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and here's hoping we ALL have a MUCH better New Year! 

Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer

One of the most infamous and popular characters in modern Christmas/Holiday folklore, is Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Pretty much all kids hear about him and his story growing up. But the story of Rudolf isn't merely a fun tale centered around Christmas. It's the story of a misfit, an outcast, someone who is different, and thus doesn't fit in with "normal" people. A lot of us can identify with that, which I feel is a huge part of why the Rudolf mythos has remained so strong over the decades.

The legendary song.

Rudolf was born out of the imagination of one Robert Lewis May, in 1939. The department store Montgomery Ward had been giving out coloring books for kids for years, but wanted to save money by releasing their own story, instead of licensing out others. So they hired May to create a coloring book for them, and what he ultimately came up with, was the tale of a misfit reindeer with a shiny red nose. Originally outcast because of his difference from other reindeer, he eventually gets accepted, even celebrated, when his unique nose helps Santa save Christmas.

The book was a huge hit, becoming a repeat seller in later years. It also got turned into a popular song, which most of you are familiar with, originally sung by country-western singer Gene Autry. As insane as it sounds, that record was so popular, that it sold over 25 million copies, and was the second best selling album of all time until sometime in the 1980s (I'm going to imagine it got unseated, perhaps, by Michael Jackson's "Thriller"). The song alone is one of the top "Christmas Songs" people tend to associate with the season, along with other perennials like "Frosty the Snowman", "Silver Bells", "White Christmas", etc.

The original cartoon.

On November 11th, 1948, Max Fleischer released the first ever film adaptation of the Rudolf story. Produced at the time to help advertise Montgomery Ward, it was one of his last major projects, after such a successful earlier career with properties like Betty Boop, Popeye the Sailor, and Superman. This theatrical short, takes more after the original book than the song, in fact the first release didn't even include the song. But it is a great piece of animation, and a faithful, simple telling of Rudolf's story. It's widely available to watch now for free online, as it's in the public domain, and I highly suggest if you've never seen it, dedicating eight minutes of your life to experience what you could rightly call Fleischer's last masterpiece.

The one EVERYONE knows.

The more famous adaptation, of course, wouldn't come until roughly sixteen years later, in 1964. Arthur Rankin Jr and Jules Bass, who had founded the production company called "Videocraft International", later known as Rankin/Bass Productions, were just starting what would be a long and successful career for them as creators of (mostly) television content.As Fate would have it, the project which would become their first major success, would be a new adaptation of the Rudolf story. In point of fact, it would go on to become THE most enduring and popular telling of it.

Different from birth.

Narrated by the great folk music legend Burl Ives, himself known for some great Christmas songs, in the friendly guise of Sam the Snowman, the Rankin/Bass telling was based more around the by-then famous song. Rudolf, born to Santa's lead reindeer, Donner, and his wife, is immediately noticed by his parents for being different. Even Santa, who stops by to see the child, takes note of the "Shiny Nose", and Donner swears he'll grow out of it. Except that poor Rudolf DOESN'T grow out of it, prompting Donner to fashion a silly looking fake black nose, to make his son look "normal".

Meanwhile, Hermy the Elf, a completely new character who doesn't especially love Christmas or making toys like all the rest of Santa's elves do, instead has aspirations to be a dentist. This gains him the ire and derision of his fellow elves, making him a misfit as well. I'll note here, that Hermy also doesn't seem to look like the other elves, outside of being short. Most notably, he has rounded, human-like ears, instead of pointy ones. This is never addressed in the special, but one would imagine his looking different, like Rudolf, would also set him apart.

The dashing young doe, Clarice.

When it comes time for young Rudolf to play in the "Reindeer Games", where they get trained to fly and such, he immediately makes what seems to be a friend, in Fireball, the son of Comet. He also takes notice of a pretty young doe named Clarice, who seems to be the daughter of another of the famous Eight Reindeer who pull Santa's sleigh. He works up the courage to talk to her, and she tells him she thinks he's cute, which sends him leaping off into the air, flying better than any of the other young reindeer. Comet, the coach, is impressed, until Rudolf's nose, after roughhousing with Fireball, is revealed to all. He is, as the song goes, forbidden from playing in any more "Reindeer Games", all because of his looks.

I'd like to take the time to point out that in this special, Santa Claus, a character for whom I have great life-long affection, spends most of his time acting like a stressed out grump. Mrs. Claus spends her time trying to get him to eat, because he's "too skinny" at the time. And Santa, upon seeing Rudolf's nose, which he didn't grow out of, is shown expressing disappointment to Donner, even telling him "you ought to be ashamed". While I love this special, I think the portrayal of Santa is silly, as realistically, this character who is supposed to be the embodiment of jolliness and generosity, would not be so petty and low as to care about, much less shame, Rudolf's odd "malformity". But I digress.

New best friends.

Their savior, Yukon.

After Rudolf runs away, being ridiculously shunned by the other reindeer, Clarice runs after him, telling him she doesn't care about his nose. In fact, she seems to have taken quite a liking to him, though her father shows up, and tells Rudolf in no uncertain terms that "no doe of mine is going to be seen with a red-nosed reindeer!" This is the final straw, and Rudolf, after a chance meeting with the equally shunned Hermy the Elf, decides that together, they are going to run away, since they're not wanted.

This leads them out into the frozen wastes of the North Pole, and they find themselves having to hide Rudolf's nose in a snowstorm, lest they be seen, and presumably eaten, by the Monster of the North, the Abominable Snowman. Somehow surviving the night, even though they clearly have no idea what they're doing, their fortunes change when run across a new friend, a human named Yukon Cornelius, who has traveled so far north with his sled-dogs, in search of Silver and Gold. Ol' Yukon shows them the ropes, and helps them to survive, though they run afoul of "Old Bumble" once more, causing them to flee on an ice drift.

The Bumble.

King Moonracer, of the Island of Misfit Toys.

They wind up on a hidden island, The Island of Misfit Toys, where toys seemingly unwanted for various defects, live because allegedly no child would want them. They are introduced to the island's ruler, King MoonRacer, a magical winged lion, who tells them of the toys' plight. They resolve that they should eventually return home, and tell Santa about the toys, in hopes that he'll find homes for them. Rudolf, still believing himself to be a danger to others, takes off on his own, returning home first, only to find that his parents and Clarice have gotten lost somewhere, out looking for him.

What a hero.

Finally being recognized.

He tracks them down, only to find that they are endangered by the Abominable himself, who Rudolf stands up to, only to get knocked out. Ultimately, the day is saved by Yukon, who seemingly perishes falling over a cliff with the monster. The reindeer return home, in time to find that Christmas is in trouble, because the worst snowstorm in years is making it so Santa won't be able to fly his sleigh to take presents to the world's children. But wouldn't you know it, he sees Rudolf's glowing nose, and EUREKA, he realizes that it could act as a lamp to light their way! Christmas is saved, and Rudolf, who has been unjustly ostracized all along for something he can't help, is finally not only accepted, but is the hero of the day.

The NEW lead reindeer.

The Misfit Toys.

They also manage to keep their promise, and stop by the island, to pick up the Misfit Toys, whom Santa finds homes for. They even learn that Yukon survived, because duh, "Bumbles Bounce", and that Hermey, who had stayed behind to look for him, used his dental accumen to remove the poor monster's teeth, rendering him harmless. Not only harmless, but friendly, as he helps put he star on the North Pole Christmas Tree! All's well that ends well, and everyone seems to live happily ever after.

Sam the Snowman.

Voiced by Burl Ives.

As a kid, like many kids I'm sure, I saw this special at an early age. Early enough, in fact, that I had already seen it multiple times by the time I was in pre-school, and knew how it went. So when they showed it at school, I stated matter-of-factly that I had "already seen it", and was allowed to go play with toys while the other kids watched, even though I still watched some of it anyway. Pre-school snootiness aside, I've always been a fan of this Rankin/Bass Production, as I was of many of their other creations (including the 80s shows Thundercats and Silverhawks). I remember being afraid of the Bumble monster, and even at a young age dreaming of finding "my own Clarice".

In its own way, this special is a masterpiece. The stop-motion animation, handled as most of their animation was in Japan, while certainly not up to the standards of theatrical excellence that Ray Harryhausen set, is still rather good. The characters are memorable, as are the songs, mostly sung by Burl Ives, including one of my favorite Christmas standards that he made famous, "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas". I actually remember my grandmother owning some Burl Ives tapes, one of which was a Christmas album, which I would listen to often as a child. His voice, in many ways to me, was the "Voice of Christmas" as I was growing up.

Lending a helping hand.

All in all, the story of Rudolf itself, I think endures because it is a tale of difference, and being accepted for your differences. The Rankin/Bass special, has played on TV every single year (sometimes multiple times), since it's debut in 1964, which makes it the longest running Christmas special of all time. A pretty cool distinction if you ask me, though to be fair, A Charlie Brown Christmas and How the Grinch Stole Christmas, have also been shown pretty much every year since their debuts as well.

To me, as a life-long fan of stop-motion animation, I'm glad that the Rudolf special endures, because it allows the art-form, as well as the great special itself, to be seen by new generations of kids. And I think that's important, personally. If I ever get to have children, while they are of course free to like whatever new stuff they want (even if I hate it), I am absolutely going to raise them on all of the classic things that I myself love. I'm going to share my passions with them, and this special, and others like it, will be a part of that. And it goes without saying, that yes, my kids will be allowed to believe in Santa. I think it's ridiculous, even mean-spirited, to not allow that. Santa, and the Christmas Season in general, meant so much to me as a kid. It's such a time of wonder, and fun, and I think every kid, regardless of culture or religion, deserves something like that.





Anyways, I hope that you all have a Holly Jolly Christmas, or whatever you celebrate. And if you get a chance, give the old Rudolf special a spin, especially if you have kids who have never seen it before!

Attack of the Sweet Tooth: Memories of Halloween Candy

Just in the nick of time for the big night itself, here's the one thing most kids remember....

Trick or Treat!

I've talked a lot over the years, every October in fact, about various things Halloween related. I've talked about movies and games, costumes and cartoons. I've even talked about the spiritual and historical significance of a day that, to me, happens to be just about the "holiest" day there is. But one thing that every kid who has ever celebrated the big night remembers, THE one thing that every kid who has ever been lucky enough to "Trick or Treat" remembers, is also the one thing most associated with the  (commercial aspect) of the holiday. For many adults, it's (sadly) either drinking in a dumb costume, or (more awesomely) watching horror and monster movies. But let's be real here. For kids, and just in general, the ONE thing that stands out in most people's memories of Halloween...is Candy.

For better and for worse, "Trick or Treating" and Halloween candy are the things that stick with us our whole lives, no matter what else changes. Even when the ToT-ing stops, because kids get "too old" (if you ask me, NO ONE should be too old, but certainly not teens), they still remember the candy. And most adults buy candy to give out to kids, as a guise to have that sweet, sweet tooth-rotting goodness for themselves as well. I myself have briefly touched on the subject before, but I thought that candy was important enough, and synonymous enough with the holiday, that I'd be remiss if I didn't write a piece dedicated to it, and more specifically, to my memories of it.

Everyone's favorite?

Pictured above, you can see what is perhaps the most iconic "Halloween Candy". Meaning it is perhaps the most closely associated with the holiday, and with "Trick or Treating". That doesn't mean that everyone loves the stuff. In fact, many don't. I myself am somewhat ambivalent to it. I liked it and ate it as a kid, but I wouldn't say it excited me, and they were hardly my favorite. That being, so-called "candy corn", and the pumpkin variants there-of. There were, in my childhood as I recall, other "flavors", sort of, such as ones with chocolate flavored tips. I'd say that they aren't terrible, though they do seem to be the butt of many Halloween candy related jokes. But love them or hate them, there is no denying that there really is no specific candy more associated or more iconic of Halloween, than this stuff.

Now if you want to talk BAD Halloween candy...

How bizarre.

How insidious...

How gross!

From top to bottom, what we have here are: Wax Lips, Candy Cigarettes, and Circus Peanuts. I will start by saying that as far as the candy cigarettes go, I don't clearly remember if I myself ever actually got any for Halloween. And I'd imagine most responsible parents wouldn't be thrilled if their kid got any, either. I DID however, get these multiple times as a little kid, from my chain-smoking grandmother no less. They basically taste like sweetened chalk, and as if it weren't obvious, were created, most likely, by some cigarette company or another, as a means of getting some "early starters", so to speak. To give kids the idea that smoking is "cool", and start them young. I myself, while I'm sure deep down my grandmother absolutely didn't want me to ever start smoking (even though she had no problem smoking AROUND me for the first 10+ years of my life), she still bought me these on occasion when I was basically toddler or pre-school age. And you know what? I definitely imitated what I saw my grandmother doing, puffing on them and pretending to smoke them, before I'd actually eat them (because they weren't all that good as candy). And I DEFINITELY thought they were pretty cool at that age, and thought I was cool to be "smoking" them. So I know first-hand, while I've never taken up actual smoking because it's fucking disgusting, the affect these forsaken objects can have on impressionable children.

As for the others, well...what is there to say about Wax Lips? I seem to vaguely remember OTHER, non-lip-shaped wax "candies" as a kid, but these are the ones that stick out, and the most famous. I clearly remember these popping up in store displays during my childhood Octobers, and while I didn't love them by any means, I did seem to get them more than once. To be perfectly honest, it isn't really accurate to say that Wax Lips taste "BAD". Because they don't. They just kinda don't taste...much at all. They certainly have a flavor, of sorts. Waxy. But as far as sweetness goes, while it's THERE, it's very subtle.You're basically just chewing wax, after holding the thing between your lips and pretending they were YOUR lips for a bit first. Whoever came up with these things, I'd put them right up with with "My Pet Rock" (I had more than one of those as a kid too), as being the most successful, truly DUMB ideas in history.

Lastly, we have the scourge known as "Circus Peanuts". Even as a kid, while I liked most candies I ever encountered at least a little, and while I DID eat these many times, I never genuinely liked them much. The main reason for this is...they're just not very good. Granted, SOMEONE, somewhere on planet Earth must think they're great, because they're still around, still manufactured, to this day. But I couldn't tell you why, except that some people must have weird ass taste. Speaking of taste, if you've never encountered these things in your own life, they basically taste like, to put it bluntly, stale marshmallows. Which is basically what they are, as far as I'm concerned. They have the flavor and texture of a marshmallow that has maybe been sitting out for a long time, and they're kinda tough, and kinda chalky, and just really...bleck. Moving on...

An early childhood favorite.

Child Crack.

Yup.

For a few more odd or obscure Halloween items, I present to you: Necco Wafers, Pixie Sticks, and last but certainly not least...Popcorn Balls. As far as the Neccos go, they really were a favorite of mine as a kid. Some of my very most favorite things when I was between the ages of, let's say, 3 and 6 years old, were Fig Newtons, Squirt soda, and Necco Wafers. I especially loved the "chocolate" flavored ones, that you could find in their own exclusive package. To be perfectly honest, Necco Wafers aren't especially great. They are, as one might imagine, fairly chalky, and the flavors are fairly subdued. I'd say that they taste less strongly, and probably less pleasant, than something like Sweet Tarts, a similar product. But for some odd reason as a child, I really really liked them.

Pixie Sticks are something I'm sure most kids are familiar with, and to put it simply, they are really just sugar in a closed-off straw. That's really basically it. Some kids absolutely love these things to death, and it's not hard to see why, because it's essentially skipping the bullshit and trappings of what candies of any sort really are. and just giving the common base element straight: sugar. Which is why they are also essentially childhood crack. I myself didn't LOVE them, oddly enough. As a kid, I guess I preferred the trappings and the bullshit, I liked various shapes and flavors, and apparently didn't just want to eat straight sugar.

The last, is something that I have a feeling younger kids nowadays are likely less and less familiar with. They still sell them in some stores, and I'm going to take a stab in the dark and imagine that there MUST still be some adults out there who might hand out home-made ones to "Trick or Treaters". But Popcorn Balls are a genuinely odd duck. They aren't BAD as a concept. And sometimes, if you're lucky, they're not bad as a reality either. It's just that when you get a bad one, you get a BAD one. They're generally supposed to be what they look/sound like: a bunch of popcorn, stuck together in a ball shape by some kind of sugary glaze. If you're unlucky, you'll get ones that taste stale as hell, as I feel like I must have. Because while I definitely liked popcorn as a kid, I really never cared for these damn things. And regardless, I feel like most kids were probably disappointed, when they got non-candy items like these, in place of that sweet childhood gold they were REALLY after.

More traditional hard candies.

Gum Drops.

Various candy bars.

Pictured here, are, besides Candy Corn, what I'd consider more "traditional" types of Halloween candy. Hard candies were, when I was a kid in the 80s and early 90s, a fairly common thing to get for Halloween. I have no idea what "Trick or Treaters" get from people now, but if what my roommate buys to give out every year is any indication, I'd imagine they get a lot less of these types, or the weirder fare that I've already shown, and a lot more of the name brand candy bars and stuff that most stores tend to sell in huge (often expensive) packs now. Granted, not all hard candy, or Gum Drops or what-have-you, are great. But I think there is something to be said for variety, and for the air of mystery involved in your Halloween candy, versus basically getting the same limited set of stuff from most houses. As an aside, I'd like to point out that for a certain duration of my pre-teen and early teen childhood, I fuckin' LOVED Butterfinger bars. But as I got older, I got really tired of them sticking in my teeth constantly, and frankly, I fell out of love with their "not really peanut buttery" flavor.

Childhood Gold.

The King of Off-Chocolate Taffy Stuff.

Weird, fun, and delicious!

Peanuts stuck to caramel = genius.

The only flavors that existed when I was a kid.

Cool, minty, refreshing!

THE best, for Halloween, Christmas, or any time.

So, this cavalcade of candy pictures embodies most of my top favorites to get as a kid. THESE were the true gold I was after, and ever-hopeful for, when I would go "Trick or Treating". On a random side-note, as a kid I always associated the York Peppermint Patties with the Peanuts (Charlie Brown) character Peppermint Patty. Eating them always made me think of her. Weird, but hey.

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, it goes without saying, are godly. I have loved them my whole life, hands down. But while some may find it odd, I have always, ALWAYS preferred the "mini" cups pictured above, instead of the bigger, normal ones. Not that I didn't LIKE the bigger ones. But I just always liked the small ones better. I guess to me it was a perfect chocolate-to-peanut-butter ratio. I've always liked Reese's Pieces (made famous in the film E.T.) as well, though I don't know if any of you have noticed, the peanut butter in those things does NOT taste the same as in the cups. And I've always preferred the cups. They remain one of my top favorites to this very day.

Starburst were more of a childhood favorite, with me liking them less as I got older. Not that I DIS-like them now. But a combination of eventually becoming diabetic (not because of candy), and eating candy less and less in general, saw them drop off as I hit adulthood. But let me tell you, four flavors or not, in the early-to-mid-90s, these things were my jam. And yeah, I probably did like the pink ones best, though to be fair, I really did like the yellow, where some claim not to.

Tootsie Rolls are also something that I came to love less as I got older. Not because I grew to dislike the flavor, I still like how they taste, that weird, off-chocolate taffy type flavor. But similar to Starburst, I just ate them gradually less and less, till now I hardly ever touch them. But again, as a kid, I absolutely adored these things. I've always preferred the smaller, "bite sized" ones, but the longer ones, and especially getting the rare "KING Sized", was pretty exciting. I also remember the non-chocolate flavors they had, such as vanilla, and a few fruit flavors. Those were all pretty good, though I never loved them nearly as much as the traditional chocolate.

As far as Nerds go, I'm sure people exist who don't, but WHO honestly doesn't love these things?  They were pint-sized bits of hardened, flavored sugar. In the shape of silly creatures no less. And came in boxed that usually had two different flavors, so somehow you felt like you were getting more "bang for your buck", to so speak. I seem to remember these things coming into existence during my lifetime, and it would seem I'm correct. I really don't remember having them till the late 80s, at the earliest, but it would appear that they came into existence in 1983. If you've never had Nerds, do yourself a favor, go grab a box, if only to experience them once in your life. It's a Bucket List sort of deal. And who knows, you MAY just love them.

Payday bars were something I don't really remember getting until the 90s, my later childhood years, though it seems they've been around quite a long time. If you've never had one, it's pretty simple: peanuts, literally rolled around a stick of caramel. To be perfectly honest with you, I have never LOVED caramel. It is good in small measure, WITH certain other things. But it's never been my favorite on its own. However, Payday bars are the ONE exception, considering most of what the bar is, is caramel. But to be perfectly fair, and to give credit where it is most certainly due, it is the PEANUTS that bring the party to your mouth. The salty, peanut-y goodness, is what makes all the caramel bearable, and the caramel is just there to get those peanuts into your gullet. The two flavors go great together, I'll admit. But it really is the peanuts that make the bar.

And last but DEFINITELY not least, are the phenomenon known as "Assorted Mini Hershey Bars". These things were a staple of both Halloween and Christmas during my childhood, and I looked forward to them every year. Regular, plain-ass milk chocolate Hershey is pretty decent, and something I'm nostalgic about, at least in "Kiss" form (Hershey Kisses were something I really only got or associated with Christmas as a kid). But it was the three OTHER kinds that you wanted, always. Krackle and Mr. Goodbar are basically the same thing with a different added ingredient. Krackle is milk chocolate with Rice Crispies (the cereal) basically, and they're pretty swell. My preferred of the two, though, was Mr. Goodbar, which instead had peanuts. I guess I just like peanuts.

Food of the Gods.

But my FAVORITE, by far, perhaps in part because they always seemed more rare than the others, were the "Special" Dark Chocolate ones. Either in bar, or in my adult years especially in "Kiss" form, I will admit, I adore Hershey's Dark Chocolate. It is my favorite KIND of Dark Chocolate, in point of fact. Both because I am nostalgic for it from my childhood, but also because I just like the way it tastes. I have, just to let it be known, had other, more expensive and fancier, even EUROPEAN kinds of Dark Chocolate. And it has been brought to my attention by chocolate snobs, that Hershey's (or if they're extra-snotty ANY American-made chocolate), is "garbage". But hey, you know what? Fuck those people. Because I love Hershey's Special Dark Chocolate, and I prefer it over the fanciest Euro shit I have yet to ever put upon my taste buds. I'll stand by that one, hardcore: Hershey's Dark Chocolate fuckin' ROCKS!

Not to be forgotten.

"Back in MY day..."

I'd like to give a quick shout out to the "round candy-shelled drops of goodness" variety of candies, lest I be accused of forgetting. I've already mentioned that I liked, and still like, Reese's Pieces, though as previously stated, the "peanut butter" within those candy shells, simply does not taste the same, nor as good (to me), as in the cups. I also loved (and still like) Skittles, which of course, to my memory, during my childhood in the 80s and early 90s, what you see above is what you got. I may be wrong, but I'm PRETTY sure that all I ever saw or had as a kid, was the regular ass Skittles. All the billion other flavors didn't start coming on until the later 90s, I think. And the cartoon ad for the M&Ms, I included to illustrate the same. To my recollection, the only varieties of M&Ms, the BEST varieties of M&Ms, that existed, up until the mid-90s and my early teen years, were regular and peanut. Peanut, perhaps not surprising and part of an obvious trend here, are my favorite kind. Well...almost...I also happen to REALLY love the Dark Chocolate kind.

Anyone who would ever do this, should be shot.

So I can't wrap this sugarpocalypse up, without first talking about the way you GOT this candy on Halloween night, as a kid. To me, though as with most things my experience was odd or limited thanks to my grandmother, "Trick or Treating" was a magic all its own. I'm sure most kids feel some fashion of the same way. The whole ordeal, the entire package experience, was pretty great. You got to dress up in some goofy, or weird, or if you were really lucky, cool costume. If you were UNLUCKY, as I was a couple of years, you were either poor as fuck, and/or your parental figure is just lazy or has bad taste, and won't let you pick your own costume. In that case, you might get stuck with a SUPER shitty costume, like that of a crappy clown, or cowboy. But I digress, regardless, the dressing up part was, while hardly the MAIN event of the evening, pretty damn cool. Then you got to go out, AT NIGHT (or in the evening), when the weather was finally getting colder (if you, like me, lived in California, at least). You got to go around, in my case always with adult supervision (which sucks when you're a kid, but as an adult, I get it), to various neighborhoods, in my case always of total strangers. You got to see other kids' costumes. You got to, if you were lucky, see various manner of cool (and sometimes even scary) Halloween decorations, which could range from cheap and tacky, to incredibly elaborate. And best of all, to most kids anyway, you got to go up to people's doors, and ask them for FREE candy, which they usually gave you.

It was all at once both thrilling, and a bit scary, to go knock on complete strangers' doors, hoping they'd give you that sweet glory you were dreaming of. The mystery and anticipation of it all was, in a way, half of the fun. The general "rule" was, that if a porch light was on, USUALLY, this meant you were welcome to knock. If not, then no-go. But this wasn't universal, as some of the folks who were more into it than others, who went all out with decorations, would have the light off to be "spookier", and so you had to kind of go with your (or your grandmother's) gut, when it came to reading the situation. All in all, from what I can remember, I seem to recall good, mostly positive vibes from my "Trick or Treating" experiences.

In fact, probably the worst I had, was the last year I did it, October 1995, when I was almost 14. Two of my friends and I, also young teens, went "Trick or Treating", like any other year, expecting to have the same fun experience. Except that, while we DID still get some candy, and to be fair maybe we picked a bad neighborhood, we ran into a FAIR few houses that would either be a bit snotty but still give us candy, or some that outright REFUSED to give us any. In all of those cases, it was always the same shit: "Aren't you a little OLD to be doing this?" And frankly, I'd just like to state, for the record, that that attitude and practice of ostracizing teenagers who want to keep "Trick or Treating", is complete bullshit. The idea that giving out candy should ONLY be for younger kids? Incredibly lame. But worse yet, is the accompanying snottiness, as if they're trying to shame young teens for "being too old" to still want free candy and have fun. It's like, what would society rather have? Teens out committing crime, doing drugs, and who knows what else? Or would they rather let teens who WANT to still "Trick or Treat", do so with open welcome, treating the TEENS with just as much friendliness and kindness as the younger children. What a concept, right?

Last but not least, as the picture above alluded, is a phenomenon that I myself, thankfully, never experienced. Though because my grandmother was an over-protective hawk about most things, I still lived under the spectre of the fear that it COULD happen. And that is, the fact that apparently, while most treat it as an "Urban Myth", there ARE in fact some heartless, sadistic, shitbag assholes out there, who will actually try to basically "booby trap" the candy they give out. By putting sharp things, or even something like POISON, hidden in the candy. To deliberately hurt innocent kids who are just trying to have fun on a special night. The very idea, that grown ass adults would find it amusing to try and ruin Halloween for kids, but worse yet, actually seriously HURT these kids? That is beyond fucked up. I won't linger on the subject, but let's just let it be known, anyone who would do that to kids, or anyone really, should at the very least, have every bone in their body broken.





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So with that, I'll end this diabetes-inducing article. I likely have more candy memories than I've shared, many other sweets that I experienced growing up, like taffies, and Twizzlers, and gummies, and "Chocolate Truffles" (hot DAMN), etc. etc. etc. But I think I've left a pretty good amount laid out there as it is. If you're an adult, I'd say to make sure, if you're going to bother, to try and make the "Trick or Treating" experience as safe, and welcoming, and friendly, and fun, for the kids as possible. And if you're taking kids "Trick or Treating" yourself, obviously, it goes without saying, to make sure they have fun, but also that they stay safe! I hope everyone has a great, electricity powered, safe, and fun-filled Samhain night. And as always, make sure to watch (or show others) some classic Halloween-type cartoons and movies!